If you don't laugh at this...well...good luck then.

From newbie to professional (Query Readiness Part 3)

Here is the emotional response when you don't understand those in publishing:

http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-cant-make-this-up.html

He not only sounds unprofessional, but a newbie and is not ready to be published. No literary agent wants to hold your hand and wipe your tears through acquisitions. Don't forget those edits too.

I beg you, don't query until your skin is ready. You might want to query that same agent another book in a year or two when you have better perspective on the industry.

Also, THINK before you respond to an agents rejection letter and then don't. If you don't have anything nice to say then shut the hell up. You're making it harder on the rest of us.

Research gives you the professional edge. Go to conferences, blog, twitter, tumblr, and get creative writing books at the library. Trust me, you can't go wrong.

The PEOPLE in Publishing (Query Readiness Part 2)

Yesterday, I blogged about how doing my research, prepared me emotionally for query rejection. Understanding the PEOPLE in the publishing industry will take the sting away, making it not personal but business.

Here are two perfect examples of that research:

http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2010/09/behind-scenes.html

http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-in-life.html

What makes me a writer... (Query Readiness Part 1)

I started the query process a lot later than I wanted, but here I am and with my first official rejection letter. It was a form rejection that said very nicely, "This is not for me."

Am I riddled with sadness? No.

Why not? I'm glad you asked imaginary person. I have done my research. I know the process and what NOT to expect. I have read countless posts on an editor's/agent's day to day life. Their job isn't glamorous but it's something they love to do. Writing is something I love to do, yet I know this is a shocker, I too don't lead a glamorous life. I'm one with all there is in publishing. Hummmmmmmmm...

Here's what NOT to expect:

1. You can't expect (YCE) immediate response or any at all.
2. YCE editorial explanations.
3. YCE to talk to anyone directly.(In fact it could ruin your career.)
4. YCE those in publishing to understand your novel. If they don't get it, they don't care. (That's your job, dumb ass.)
5. YCE to be the next bestselling author. (Never put that in a query BTW)
6. YCE them to tell the truth all the time. They have their reasons.
7. YCE a $750,000 advance. (That's the agents job to barter.)
8. YCE to be published in less than five years.
9. YCE that anyone will love your book. (The book might be revolutionary in a few years but not now.)
10. YCE your dreams to come true the way you want them to.

Here is what you can expect:

1. The enjoyment of no one telling you how or what to write.
2. Absolutely no pressure to perform.
3. Happiness and joy in your writing being yours alone.
4. More from your writing everyday.
5. Love from your critique group.
6. Emails sent if you push send instead of save on accident. (Put the email address in ONLY when you're ready to send.) I made this mistake again today. Oops.
7. It to hurt after your first critique at a conference. Scratch that, after any number of critiques at a conference. You look up to said person and it sucks when they say your writing isn't perfect. Well duh, that's why you're there.
8. To have some sort of site/blog and a twitter account.
9. Have fulfillment because you are doing something you love. If you don't please don't become a writer. No one wants to read dispassionate drivel.
10. The title of writer after your first official rejection letter.

Today, I was rejected and then wrote this post. That's what makes me a writer!

Excellent. It hurt my brain but most excellent!

Punk Writer Kid Punkiversary Giveaway

Today, I entered a contest with a new up and coming. The premise for her novel sounds great and the epic prizes you'll have to check out for yourself at Punk Writer Kid Punkiversary Giveaway.

Do I have perfect pitch?

I'll be attending a conference soon and I've been honing not only my pitch but a hook that will extend my five minutes to hopefully fifteen. The scene from the Christmas story comes to mind when Ralphie turns in his essay on what he wants for Christmas and he daydreams about his masterpiece gaining praise and approval of his teach and then the whole school.

I have no such delusions. I only want the agent/editor to scream at me in the middle of my pitch, "Say no more I must have those pages now." Although, I've have read how conferences don't yield many immediate connections BUT are vital to future endeavors.

Still I hone with my little hammer in hand. What do you think of my hook for my YA book?

"When Delia falls into the arms of a stranger, it is his pain that ignites god-like abilities inside her." --Unnatural by Michelle Kollar

I can hear it now...a Red Rider Bebe gun? You'll shoot your eye out!

The Brainstormer and it's brilliance.

http://www.andrewbosley.com/the-brainstormer.html

I found this and I was hopping mad I didn't think of it. Not completely computer literate I would get my computer genius husband and he'd have to make it come to life but yeah, me could do it. Alas, some smarty named Andrew Bosley came up with it. It even has an i-phone app.

Guide to Literary Agents - ''Dear Lucky Agent'' Contest: Middle Grade and Young Adult (with agent Regina Brooks)

Guide to Literary Agents - ''Dear Lucky Agent'' Contest: Middle Grade and Young Adult (with agent Regina Brooks)

Gatekeeper gets Punk

I read this four times crying from laughter. I hope I'll feel comfortable enough to joke around like this with my future agent. Urine...lol lol lol.


Gatekeeper gets Punk

Going to give this Moon Rat a try! Love this Blog!

half a million and counting!

Ed Ass got its 500,000th hit today. This makes me feel old and venerable.

Naturally, I wanted to celebrate. I mean, with you guys, since you made it happen. But how?! No one has yet invented a giant internet pie.

Jamie Harrington, clever thing, had the idea that I have a giveaway contest, the prize being a first 20 pages crit. So that's what it is! I'll give away one crit of a book's first 20 pages (size 12 font, double spaced, .5 margins for you sneaky sneakies out there).

You'll be automatically entered to win if you do any or all of the following things:

1) repost this on your blog

OR

2) retweet my Twitter announcement

OR

3) link to this post on Facebook (make sure you include @Moonrat in the post so I'm notified of it)

I'll close the contest at 11 pm EST tomorrow (March 31). The Rally Monkey will randomly select one winner without my input (as if I could make him listen to me, anyway).

Yay! I'm really excited now.

Posted by moonrat at 4:14 PM

Guide to Literary Agents - Reminder: Third ''Dear Lucky Agent'' Contest Ends Sunday!

Guide to Literary Agents - Reminder: Third ''Dear Lucky Agent'' Contest Ends Sunday!

You mean I have to learn something!

In my head everything I write is perfect and when it comes to "the doing" I expect the outcome to be perfect because I suffer from frequent delusions of grandeur which I tend to keep to myself for the most part. Now I'm not saying I'm a good writer, I'm not saying I'm a bad writer. What am I saying? Oh yes, why the HELL couldn't I SEE two years ago when I spent a whole weekend writing the first thirty some pages that they were CRAP! Honestly...I couldn't recognize the first scene which I LOVED was boring as all fricken hell. The past two years when I watched my friends faces go from excitement to 'eh' it didn't click to cut the first scene totally until last night? And here is the catch my boys and girls, guess what happens when you write like I do in a nice line, you have to change a lot of the story after removing anything. Revisions, revisions, revisions! When can I finally send this beast out to agents? (Blak!)
I'm afraid I'm running out of time and the paranormal romance streak is only going to fly so far before the loop comes back to just plain normal then whatever I have is then called the equalent of lame in the teenage current lingo. (Totally jake, right!) I like sci-fi and paranormal stuff. It's what I write. The idea of what I come up with is not babyish or weird but wanted, is why I started writing again. Agents aren't going to want what is saturated or going out. They want new creative well written manuscripts.
I want my shot, I want my rejection letters and I want my requests for partials. I also want to start my next thirty pages I can flog myself with (in hopefully only six months for the next time) while I scream at the top of my lungs, "You mean I have to learn something and I thought I was perfect!"

Curious Questions

In my past posts I stated how I write off the hip and my frustration with my own self inflicted diabolical process. I always march on because I have questions. I write those questions down by hand and no matter how long it takes I look at it everyday until I have an answer. I'm hoping the curiosity I experience is the same for the reader. I heard a mystery writer say once in an interview, if we as writers paint ourselves into a corner then the reader will be less likely to telegraph the story. I like the idea of creating the unexpected. My dream is not to be published but to antagonize the crap out of a reader to the point that the only thing of significance is to finish my book. Recently, as a test, I've been giving the first few pages to many friends and wait to see if they ask for more. If I have to call them then I know there is a problem, the story is a sinker and I need to move on. Pushing through the pain of rejection is worth it just to hear those sweet words I do dream of, 'more please'. I have to admit, I like driving people slightly crazy. It makes me smile.

A legit writers contest.

Normally, I disregard writing contests because I don't trust them. Most contests are usually a front to get you to give them money for some sort of vanity book or 'outside expenses'. How do I know this? Well I also have written songs and poetry so in my time I've entered a couple contests. Guess what? I WON! Yes, and when I was nineteen and stupid I really thought I was special when my poem was 'chosen' to be in a published book. My dad never told me the truth and he bought the book. Holding the $20 vanity book that had a bunch of other suckers poems in it, he told me he was proud of me. (I know, boohoo, get to the point.)
Well let's go back a few months, (snore) hey, I'm getting there...I had the awesome opportunity to attend a FREE talk given by Chuck Sambuchino. He gave info and advice about the world of publishing while promoting his book Guide to Literary Agents 2010. Amazed by his infinite knowledge and experience, I started to follow his blog Guide to Literary Agents.
It has become one of my favorites along with Writers Unboxed and Query Shark.
Anyway, I trust his blog enough to enter his Dear Lucky Agent Contest. Without a query, I get to submit the first 150-200 words of my manuscript to be judged by Jennifer Laughran of the Andrea Brown Agency.
Wish me luck!