In my head everything I write is perfect and when it comes to "the doing" I expect the outcome to be perfect because I suffer from frequent delusions of grandeur which I tend to keep to myself for the most part. Now I'm not saying I'm a good writer, I'm not saying I'm a bad writer. What am I saying? Oh yes, why the HELL couldn't I SEE two years ago when I spent a whole weekend writing the first thirty some pages that they were CRAP! Honestly...I couldn't recognize the first scene which I LOVED was boring as all fricken hell. The past two years when I watched my friends faces go from excitement to 'eh' it didn't click to cut the first scene totally until last night? And here is the catch my boys and girls, guess what happens when you write like I do in a nice line, you have to change a lot of the story after removing anything. Revisions, revisions, revisions! When can I finally send this beast out to agents? (Blak!)
I'm afraid I'm running out of time and the paranormal romance streak is only going to fly so far before the loop comes back to just plain normal then whatever I have is then called the equalent of lame in the teenage current lingo. (Totally jake, right!) I like sci-fi and paranormal stuff. It's what I write. The idea of what I come up with is not babyish or weird but wanted, is why I started writing again. Agents aren't going to want what is saturated or going out. They want new creative well written manuscripts.
I want my shot, I want my rejection letters and I want my requests for partials. I also want to start my next thirty pages I can flog myself with (in hopefully only six months for the next time) while I scream at the top of my lungs, "You mean I have to learn something and I thought I was perfect!"