Do I have perfect pitch?

I'll be attending a conference soon and I've been honing not only my pitch but a hook that will extend my five minutes to hopefully fifteen. The scene from the Christmas story comes to mind when Ralphie turns in his essay on what he wants for Christmas and he daydreams about his masterpiece gaining praise and approval of his teach and then the whole school.

I have no such delusions. I only want the agent/editor to scream at me in the middle of my pitch, "Say no more I must have those pages now." Although, I've have read how conferences don't yield many immediate connections BUT are vital to future endeavors.

Still I hone with my little hammer in hand. What do you think of my hook for my YA book?

"When Delia falls into the arms of a stranger, it is his pain that ignites god-like abilities inside her." --Unnatural by Michelle Kollar

I can hear it now...a Red Rider Bebe gun? You'll shoot your eye out!