First Draft Rose Colored Glassed

I keep hearing the same song about first drafts, "Put it in a drawer." Well, my first drafts are always perfect and that is why I will have fifteen "just's" and twenty "so's" in the first fifty pages. I'm not getting any younger and no offense imaginary person neither are you sooooooooooo here are a few tips this amateur (that would be me) has learned along the past four years of reading crafts books and blogs on writing.

1. Write a rough outline you don't have to stick to and rush through the rough draft to FINISH the book.
2. Don't show anyone your first draft. (Put the puppy face away because your first draft isn't fooling anyone.)
3. Pick your favorite computer voice under system preferences/speech and have the computer read your first draft to you.
4. Dream of being famous...
5. Brain storm a second novel that has nothing to do with your first drafted book.
6. Dream of being famous...
7. Read first draft out loud. (If you can read it and don't get bored then go on to step 8 otherwise write rough draft for step 5.)
8. Have someone that is not a family member/best bud read it all the way through. Feel free to use bribery.
9. Have a few QUICK reading questions for them. Do they get the premise?
10. Bribe another to read your book and compare and contrast answers. Trust me, the same problems will come up and if they don't, someone is being too nice.

****NICE DOESN'T GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. IF A CRITIQUE DOESN'T HURT THEN IT IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME. YOU HAVE TO HURT TO LEARN***